The Harvester
I spent most of my life consumed by depression, anxiety, and longing. I had no peace and my pillow was a place of death. Eventually, I reached the end of myself. I was tormented by the consequences of my choices. There was no one left for me to blame anymore. I let go. I said, "God, I can no longer blame you. I am numb to this world. I have nothing left. So take all that I am. Take everything I like about myself. Take everything I hate about myself. I give you my life." In my numbness, I would sit in silence for hours waiting before the Lord every day in a state of surrender. The Holy Spirit began to fill me, And everything else fell away. My idols no longer satisfied me the way they used to. My comforts lost their spark. The joy of the Lord consumed my soul, and God gave me the relief of indifference towards the matters of this world. He gave me rest in my spirit. He gave me the love I had always wanted. To this day, I give God the sword of my life. I am His harvest. And in exchange He adorns me with the wealth of fulfillment and power. This is why I am the way I am. Because I would do anything for that man. The man whose name is Jesus. The man who loved me first.
© 2022 Clarissa Lovella